Thought Number 113… Me as a Catholic, or, When I Came to Living Faith

Posted by TheoJunkie - December 16, 2007 on 8:12 am | In But Give Thanks Always, TheoJunkie, What is a Christian? | Comments Off thank God for Chuck. Pyromaniacs posts a "weekly dose of Spurgeon" over there, and this week's entry has put some clarity to my ongoing/sometime retrospective of my own faith walk.

For a long time (actually, ever since I was smacked in the head by God and turned into TheoJunkie), which was around 1997 or so... I have been vexed to decide whether that was also when I was reborn, or if God just gave me a kick in the pants that day. Now, I think probably I was not a real believer until that day of destiny 10 years ago. (By the way, I remember it was October, but I really don't remember the exact year... it was sometime between 1997 and 1999 that I found myself fighting through-- even cursing through-- RC Sproul's "Chosen by God", forcing myself to read it and finish it because I told my pastor that I would. And in October of that year, whichever year it was, I finished Sproul's book. And, not being able to refute the book with the Bible (but quite to the contrary), in abject fear for my soul before God, I cast my entire attention to God (whom I realized I had not yet ever known) in critical examination of my being. I didn't exactly sweat blood, but I surely was in a fit. And it was in those moments of crisis, that God laid his hand upon me-- almost palpably-- and showed me that I was not running from hell but running to Him. That I truly wanted to be with Him no matter how He was. It was then that I believed the Gospel of Christ's work that I thought I knew since kindergarten, but had not known until that season.

Chuck says of the many forms of unbelief:
At one time I see unbelief dressed out as an angel of light. It calls itself humility, and it saith, "I would not be presumptuous; I dare not think that God would pardon me; I am too great a sinner." We call that humility, and thank God that our friend is in so good a condition. I do not thank God for any such delusion. It is the devil dressed as an angel of light; it is unbelief after all.

This was me even just days before I picked up Sproul's book. I remember saying exactly the above (even with some pride!) in response to those "crazy evangelicals" who say they know they will go to heaven. At best, I thought heaven was for "real" saints, and if I was lucky, God might let me spend eternity in purgatory. (Though I was attending a reformed church at this time, I clearly had not abandoned my Catholic soteriology, even if I didn't know what that word even meant).

Chuck says further:
At other times we detect unbelief in the shape of a doubt of God's immutability: "The Lord has loved me, but perhaps he will cast me off to-morrow. He helped me yesterday, and under the shadows of his wings I trust; but perhaps I shall receive no help in the next affliction. He may have cast me off; he may be unmindful of his covenant, and forget to be gracious." Sometimes this infidelity is embodied in a doubt of God's power. We see every day new straits, we are involved in a net of difficulties, and we think "surely the Lord cannot deliver us." We strive to get rid of our burden, and finding that we cannot do it, we think God's arm is as short as ours, and his power as little as human might.

That was me too. And until I read that post, I thought maybe I was a believer all along. Not so. God made me a new creature in 1997 (give or take), but not before. I know he was working "around me" all along-- lining it all up so that at the proper time I would believe. I see this clearly. But as for working IN me, now I know.

Thanks be to God that salvation is HIS!
God is God... Get used to it.

 


Thought Number 106… Meanwhile, On the Playground After School, Little Theo is Accosted Again by the Class Bully

Posted by TheoJunkie - November 26, 2007 on 6:57 pm | In TheoJunkie, What is a Christian? | Comments Off anonymous," am I supposed to give you my lunch money or something?

Your comments continue to be rejected because they are divisive and off topic. I will assume you are not so ignorant as to think I would publish them, and as such I must conclude you must be trying in some vain way to hurt me personally. If they make you feel better in some small way, carry on. Meanwhile, you should know that the worst effect it has on me is that I might have to click the mouse a few more times than usual. By the grace of God, I no longer fear mortals like you (Matthew 10:28).

I wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of your comments (or otherwise titillate your fleshly desires) lest you stumble further in your pride, but your attempt to dissociate your vitriole from your identity by posting as "anonymous" reminds me of a verse that bears posting:
John 3:20
For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.
I dare you to plug your handle onto your next comment. God knows your deeds-- why hide from men?

(P.S. By the way, thanks for subscribing! The rapidity with which you notice my latest posts is encouraging. I pray you may be enlightened by your continued readership, and if so, may God be praised!)
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Update: EgoMakarios has come out of the closet and admitted to being the above-mentioned anonymous bearer of enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, dissensions, divisions, and slander! I pray this is an evidence of God's grace in him.

... so, in celebration and in hope, we shall post the next verse out of John 3:
21But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.
Perhaps one day I will also be able to post the continuation of Galatians 5 in celebration of God's work in him.
God is God... Get used to it.